Never thought we'd have to fight with AI for our children's trust one day but here we are. I hope that this could not only motivate us to be better parents, but also trust in ourselves that our children see us as the safe harbour that we are.
I am so stuck in the middle on this. AI scares me and it probably shouldn't but I see more and more kids relying on everything electronic and I feel all social skills, human interactions are becoming something they are not learning how to navigate. That is the part that scares me the most.
Hey Em! Ash here 👋🏼 As you know, I’m a mom of 3 and a high school teacher, and holy YES to allllll of this. Figuring out how to navigate this new learning landscape in my classroom has been a challenge for sure, especially now that they are using “humanizers” to cover up their AI cheating. 🙄 But this is a whole new social-emotional layer that is emerging in adolescents in how they are using 🤖 that we will likely see more impact of in the next several years…
I’m one of those millennials who wishes AI never existed. We are seriously losing touch with reality and this is a reason the real world and country are as divided as we are now. We’re trending towards only caring about ourselves and what makes life easier and better (AI) for US and real people and real relationships are getting in the way of that. It’s so sad to me.
I see all the benefits of AI, but i still get weary of AI and using it all the time. I think it can be a great tool, but also we can use it too much. It’s scary the different ways kids are using it.
Yet, lately, while developing some sort of professional relationship with AI (asking it for better word choice), I realized I want to cling to the feeling (and later teach my kids) of achievement through hard mental work. There is no gratification in asking an AI bot to write a chapter or an essay. There is, however, a long-lasting aftertaste of processing, crafting and editing my own work. Nothing really can replace that feeling, neither convenience nor speed of ChatGPT.
I've had this thought so much as a writer. I don't ever want to lose the rush and the excitement that comes from putting words together in *just that sort of way.* It's the most amazing, purely human feeling.
Thanks for this, Emily! I have an 11 year old and this is something we (parents) are constantly thinking about. I am encouraged by things my daughter says ("so much on the internet isn't 100% right.... we can't cite that stuff") but the AI companion angle is something I don't think even the wisest of teen/tweens can resist.
No one likes the feeling of being wrong or not knowing all the answers but that is a part of growing up and being a middle schooler / HS student in particular. I see the AI companions as just another shield from real life.
So true. I showed my 10 year olds how you can set up studying "games" using Claude AI. They love it and its helped a lot with school, particularly with Spanish. But its a weird slippery slope.
Thank you Emily for naming this so clearly and compassionately. The moment you overheard teens saying “It won’t tell anyone” felt especially chilling and illuminating. What resonated most is your insistence that AI use is a signal, not a failure. One reflection this sparked for me is how trust isn’t built by availability alone, but by emotional safety over time. Your piece invites parents to ask not “How do we stop this?” but “How do we become easier to come to?”
The poem you shared really spoke to me. The missed connections and human interaction are what gets me the most 😔 just the other day I had to explain to my kids that in my day we had to hum a song stuck in our heads to friends to see if they could recall the artist - not just ask Alexa! They have become so used to having all the answers at their fingertips that they’re missing out on the fun and camaraderie of figuring things out together.
We know that the better the context, the more information, the better the prompt, and the better the advice becomes.
I was wondering about young people's ability to provide a context that is not biased, that is impartial, that analyzes different angles, advantages, disadvantages, pros and cons... things that an adult would find easier to add to a conversation.
Because if the prompt is biased and only has one angle, the advice may not be lacking, and in addition to the points you mentioned, this can also be worrying.
It is so tough not to get disheartened by AI coming on the scene so seemingly suddenly and not feel like we're equipped to parent with all of it. I have a high school freshman and I'm grateful his hobbies/interests in general keep him offline (baseball, fishing, etc) and I think the best thing we've done to put guardrails up is simply still to not allow his phone in the bedroom and to have downtime set pretty early. This just limits the exposure to anything that can get them into trouble with tech when kids are most vulnerable (at night) and when it can replace what they need most of all (sleep!) -- got that awesome advice from Lisa Damour :) Our high school has banned phones and I LOVE this as, among all the other great reasons, it allows them to practice the messy relationships in real time.
This is such a real topic. I have even found AI to give level headed advice in some situations. Sometimes, it helps me realize my own intentions or feelings faster than my therapist does. In fact, this is one of the reasons I dove into writing again: because I'd rather feelings dump with myself than with a robot. I'd rather feelings dump to get it all out in the open, process my feelings, and come back to my thoughts later with a level head and heart. However, this system of rationalization is not even an option for most teenagers or young adults. (It comes as a coping mechanism after years of practice and in conjunction with guardrails such as therapy.) This piece was so excellently written... I feel like I'm struggling to find my side of the fence with AI.
So glad you wrote this. My teens are older and wary of AI, but it’s so important to find a balance. AI is infiltrating every aspect of our lives rapidly, so it is my hope that we’ll have more conversations with our kids and each other about how to use it ethically and safely rather than ignoring it or hiding our heads in the sand. I’m hopeful these conversations are happening in households across the US and world. I love your line about “imperfect, messy” relationships. That is something to love and something uniquely human.
So true!! It's wild how much I'm using AI now (AI in our website builder, AI in our sales data, AI in our book keeping). I wasn't even thinking about it two years ago!
Never thought we'd have to fight with AI for our children's trust one day but here we are. I hope that this could not only motivate us to be better parents, but also trust in ourselves that our children see us as the safe harbour that we are.
I am so stuck in the middle on this. AI scares me and it probably shouldn't but I see more and more kids relying on everything electronic and I feel all social skills, human interactions are becoming something they are not learning how to navigate. That is the part that scares me the most.
I feel the same way. It's a both / and for sure.
Hey Em! Ash here 👋🏼 As you know, I’m a mom of 3 and a high school teacher, and holy YES to allllll of this. Figuring out how to navigate this new learning landscape in my classroom has been a challenge for sure, especially now that they are using “humanizers” to cover up their AI cheating. 🙄 But this is a whole new social-emotional layer that is emerging in adolescents in how they are using 🤖 that we will likely see more impact of in the next several years…
I’m one of those millennials who wishes AI never existed. We are seriously losing touch with reality and this is a reason the real world and country are as divided as we are now. We’re trending towards only caring about ourselves and what makes life easier and better (AI) for US and real people and real relationships are getting in the way of that. It’s so sad to me.
I see all the benefits of AI, but i still get weary of AI and using it all the time. I think it can be a great tool, but also we can use it too much. It’s scary the different ways kids are using it.
That is both disturbing and thought-provoking.
Yet, lately, while developing some sort of professional relationship with AI (asking it for better word choice), I realized I want to cling to the feeling (and later teach my kids) of achievement through hard mental work. There is no gratification in asking an AI bot to write a chapter or an essay. There is, however, a long-lasting aftertaste of processing, crafting and editing my own work. Nothing really can replace that feeling, neither convenience nor speed of ChatGPT.
I've had this thought so much as a writer. I don't ever want to lose the rush and the excitement that comes from putting words together in *just that sort of way.* It's the most amazing, purely human feeling.
Thanks for this, Emily! I have an 11 year old and this is something we (parents) are constantly thinking about. I am encouraged by things my daughter says ("so much on the internet isn't 100% right.... we can't cite that stuff") but the AI companion angle is something I don't think even the wisest of teen/tweens can resist.
No one likes the feeling of being wrong or not knowing all the answers but that is a part of growing up and being a middle schooler / HS student in particular. I see the AI companions as just another shield from real life.
So true. I showed my 10 year olds how you can set up studying "games" using Claude AI. They love it and its helped a lot with school, particularly with Spanish. But its a weird slippery slope.
Thank you for this! Such an important thing to be aware of and talk with our teens about.
Thank you Emily for naming this so clearly and compassionately. The moment you overheard teens saying “It won’t tell anyone” felt especially chilling and illuminating. What resonated most is your insistence that AI use is a signal, not a failure. One reflection this sparked for me is how trust isn’t built by availability alone, but by emotional safety over time. Your piece invites parents to ask not “How do we stop this?” but “How do we become easier to come to?”
The poem you shared really spoke to me. The missed connections and human interaction are what gets me the most 😔 just the other day I had to explain to my kids that in my day we had to hum a song stuck in our heads to friends to see if they could recall the artist - not just ask Alexa! They have become so used to having all the answers at their fingertips that they’re missing out on the fun and camaraderie of figuring things out together.
We know that the better the context, the more information, the better the prompt, and the better the advice becomes.
I was wondering about young people's ability to provide a context that is not biased, that is impartial, that analyzes different angles, advantages, disadvantages, pros and cons... things that an adult would find easier to add to a conversation.
Because if the prompt is biased and only has one angle, the advice may not be lacking, and in addition to the points you mentioned, this can also be worrying.
Thanks for bringing this important discussion, Emily and congratulations on your content
It is so tough not to get disheartened by AI coming on the scene so seemingly suddenly and not feel like we're equipped to parent with all of it. I have a high school freshman and I'm grateful his hobbies/interests in general keep him offline (baseball, fishing, etc) and I think the best thing we've done to put guardrails up is simply still to not allow his phone in the bedroom and to have downtime set pretty early. This just limits the exposure to anything that can get them into trouble with tech when kids are most vulnerable (at night) and when it can replace what they need most of all (sleep!) -- got that awesome advice from Lisa Damour :) Our high school has banned phones and I LOVE this as, among all the other great reasons, it allows them to practice the messy relationships in real time.
This is such a real topic. I have even found AI to give level headed advice in some situations. Sometimes, it helps me realize my own intentions or feelings faster than my therapist does. In fact, this is one of the reasons I dove into writing again: because I'd rather feelings dump with myself than with a robot. I'd rather feelings dump to get it all out in the open, process my feelings, and come back to my thoughts later with a level head and heart. However, this system of rationalization is not even an option for most teenagers or young adults. (It comes as a coping mechanism after years of practice and in conjunction with guardrails such as therapy.) This piece was so excellently written... I feel like I'm struggling to find my side of the fence with AI.
Great insights and reflections! Thanks for putting a spotlight on this aspect of AI use by tweens and teens...
So glad you wrote this. My teens are older and wary of AI, but it’s so important to find a balance. AI is infiltrating every aspect of our lives rapidly, so it is my hope that we’ll have more conversations with our kids and each other about how to use it ethically and safely rather than ignoring it or hiding our heads in the sand. I’m hopeful these conversations are happening in households across the US and world. I love your line about “imperfect, messy” relationships. That is something to love and something uniquely human.
So true!! It's wild how much I'm using AI now (AI in our website builder, AI in our sales data, AI in our book keeping). I wasn't even thinking about it two years ago!