When the world feels heavy, we cook
sharing my grandmother's lasagna recipe + solving the mystery of her banana salad
You know that thing we do? When a friend has a baby or loses someone they love, our first instinct is to head to the kitchen. We show up with lasagna, soup, maybe a casserole. Because somehow we all just know – when words fail, food speaks. It's one of humanity's oldest languages of love.
These days, as our country grapples with deep divisions and the hard work ahead to build a truly equitable society, I find myself thinking about this instinct to nourish each other. The path toward justice and equality is long, and just like those moments of personal crisis, we need sustenance for the journey.
Candidly? I didn't always get this. For years, cooking felt overwhelming, like one more thing I was failing at in an already overwhelming world. But here's the beautiful thing I've learned: comfort food doesn't have to be complicated to be meaningful. Sometimes it's as simple as a box of mac and cheese, steam rising from the bowl like a hug you didn't even know you needed. My kids still call this a favorite.
When the news cycle feels like too much and social media is a doomscroll waiting to happen, I find myself returning to recipes that have seen my family through other hard times. My grandmother's lasagna recipe, now splattered and yellowed with age, is more than just dinner – it's a thread connecting me to countless Sunday meals, to my mom serving this same dish on special occasions, to moments when everything felt okay, even if just until the plates were cleared.
And can we talk about my grandmother's banana salad for a minute? Sliced bananas with Miracle Whip (not mayo, specifically Miracle Whip) and crushed peanuts. I know it sounds wild, but stick with me. I've spent years wondering if it was some Kentucky thing (her only answer about heritage was ever "I'm from Kentucky") or maybe something Polish from my grandfather's side. But really, maybe it doesn't matter. What matters is how one bite can instantly transport me to her kitchen, to the crystal dish she served it on, to simpler times, to feeling safe and loved.
I’m popping in, while editing this post, to tell you I FOUND IT. I found the origin of this recipe and solved this mystery. And it’s so sweet! According to Southern Living, what I knew as “banana salad” is actually banana croquettes… a dish created by (you guessed it) Kentuckians. How beautiful is this history… “In some fellowship halls, community picnic pavilions, and small town diners, banana croquettes are served—and loved.” Wow. Finding that information made my whole day. The internet is great, isn’t it?
The work of building a better world requires tremendous energy. We have to eat. We have to feed each other. Whether it's bringing a meal to new parents, stirring up mac and cheese at the end of a hard day, or pulling out a cherished family recipe that reminds us of who we are – food can be both fuel for the journey and balm for the heart.
In my cookbook, (I will never get used to saying that) I've tried to share recipes that might become someone else's comfort food – things you can actually make, not Instagram-perfect impossible dreams. There's a slow-cooked apple crisp oatmeal that makes any morning feel a little more hopeful, peanut butter cookies that practically beg for a glass of milk and a moment of quiet, and pumpkin muffins that fill your home with the kind of warmth that makes everyone want to gather in the kitchen.
So the next time the world feels like too much, consider stepping into your kitchen. Put down your phone. Turn on some jazz. Pick up a wooden spoon. The work of creating positive change requires us to stay nourished and strong. Sometimes the best way to find our footing is to make something that reminds us of who we are and where we come from – whether it's your grandma's secret recipe or just some good old mac and cheese. Both count. Both matter. Both feed more than just our bodies.
Downloaded and print my grandmother’s original lasagna recipe at the link above. My mom’s recipe is in A Simplified Life, and my take on her version is in The Simplified Cookbook.
Looking for recipes that could become your own comfort food traditions? The Simplified Cookbook is filled with real-life cooking for real-life comfort – from quick weeknight soul-food to cozy weekend meals. These are the recipes I actually make when life gets messy, when friends need feeding, when my own heart needs settling.
I’ve been loving all the recipes teasers you have been sharing online! I can’t wait to get my hands on the cookbook! It’s been pre-ordered for months!
I have my mother's recipes that she wrote out on index cards. She passed away years ago and it makes me so happy to see her penmanship!